Unearthing a life.....

Sources deep within the darkest corners of the Vice Presidential offices have leaked news of a post-Rapture salvage contract awarded to Halliburton. It is expected that the most demanding efforts will be required south of the Mason-Dixon Line, where an unusually high percentage of the future rapturees appear to be congregated. In addition to guaranteed reimbursement of cost over-runs, proceeds from recovered clothing, wallets, purses, watches and jewelry will be split between Halliburton stock holders and elements within the Administration.
These same sources suggest that, if Halliburton is conspicuously successful with the post-Rapture salvage effort, they may well have the inside track for the post-Armageddon clean-up contract.